La vie est un voyage ; J'aime u

runnin out of time

I think I left 24hr, I know u might thnk that I'm hvin calculation problem but I'm not. I have exactly 24 hr to complete my social studies & to start missin sumbody...

hehehe... Geez I'm feeling cheeky right now. Self entertaining, i see. Let's see what I have here... 1985 by Bowling for soup. Nice song. Alright, WKH is setting off tomorrow morning. I'm wishing him all the best... as much as I'm saying it to myself. Yes, that's the spirit because TUE is coming so soon. It's my first paper. If I didnt do well for my humanities, I will not go JC. I have to prepare a back-up plan. *sounds tough*

Okay, I knew who *neelej* likes and I knew how she looks like. It's disappointing, nonetheless be dishearting. Everyone has their love, loving someone need not necessarily be together and live happily ever after. I might like him, I know it's impossible to be together. I'm fine, seriously.

hey, have u heard about the lastest? I'm Nich's angel & a devil. I knew what u people out there thinking. I'm not his stead neither a sex partner because I memtioned of the DEVIL. Geez u guys are there are so sickening. Can't be bothered.

I started to fear about O lvl, I wonder if I'm doing fine.

p.s. Let's hit the dance floor and start rockin thru' this O lvl thngy. *singing* we are the champion.....

p.p.s I can't believe it, WKH is leaving s'pore till MARCH. I might not be able to see him easily now. Gotta *cherish* this fren.

[ so near yet so far, I cant reach out to u but I will hang on ]

jamie was bouncin' @ 11:15 PM

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

where have simple love gone?

heya, I watched "wo de ye man shi jie" with cherie @ home todae. It was a touchin love story with a touch of hilarious moves. Never mind about the show, but I love those kind of guys who will stand by his girl always. He is someone who is true to his words.

I met many people in my 16 years on Earth. I knew many good friends and saw many Mr Right. My heart should accommodate one Mr special Right. However, I can't decide who I should go to. If I'm with this "Mr A", there will be a "Mr B" who seem much better. If thing went wrong with Mr A, I have lost Mr B already. It's really a tough choice. That's could be the lack of confidence in relationship. Thus, what's the point of having a few guy falling head over heels for u @ e same time.

I would rather... *imagine*
got the Mr Right, no temptation because he's the only who love me and I love him... isnt it the same as "wo de ye man nu you * shi jie" there will be only one! No matter life or death, u are still remembered. I want it that way, someone who could accept me and be with me.

Still, it's just a movie with made up scenerio - - - be realistic. I know is tough. I know *neelej* didnt forget about me, he msged me last night. I truly miss him - - - I guessed I do. I also began to realise I was not meant to be his, this one sided love of mine has slowly transformed to a likeness for him. He's someone I could LIKE but not LOVE!

I believe GOD will send the Mr Special Right to me... someday and I am waiting

[ I would bury this love, continue my liking for you than to hear u say I dont love u. ]

p.s. I'm missing many things arnd me - - - fond memories of my life

jamie was bouncin' @ 7:26 PM

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Saturday, October 23, 2004

The LAST LAP in UNITY

I'm no longer an unitian - - - Missin' u peeps alr

The 1st moment I wanted to cry, but the feeling was not there. Maybe I was feeling numbed or things just happened too fast that I'm graduated yesterday night. I need time to adjust my mood. I realized I do care about everything around. I will miss those people --- I called "friends". To my surprise, I ended up now [evening] when I d/l e photos into my computer. Altho' it doesnt have all e photo of everyone I knew, the feeling is there now.

The real moment I wanted to cry, was upon hearing "Yean Choi" name from Yee Leng during dinner. I tried so hard to cover it up or esle Wei Ling, Sandra, Alex & Yee Leng will start consoling and think of her. Especially, we were so near her place. Well, she almost graduate yesterday with us. What's left inside our minds are memories of happy times and our class photo. I miss her so much and I know Yuan Ee and gang felt the same way too. She almost make it!!!

The whole ceremony was indescrible, our mood went high and low, from joy, awkward to saddening farewell. There's so much we wanted to say to our teachers for being there. I really don't want to disappoint them. I really want to do well for O's. I hate myself from panicking and I sweared this shall not happen again!

After 4years, I finally received my 1st medal from Unity. This concluded my disappointment all these while. From losing annual shooting com and running in 4th in every race were depressing. The pressure was high during the com. and the efforts was drained. This medal altho was craved "VIP" award, in my heart it is more than that.

For the first time, I felt that I did learn something out from this school. The value they taught us, I will bring it forward. This reminded me that I had wasted my 6 years in primary school. I really hope to start all over again --- in my next life time. To be a better and happier someone. Also, to have met my best friends again all from 48!!! maybe kick away some guys! *giggleS*

p.s Now I have no regret for not earning a medal, altho' it's not a national honor but the effort was regonised! Thank you so much.

jamie was bouncin' @ 6:41 PM

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Monday, October 18, 2004

pressure knockin' on my door

It's a shame. It's a fear. It's a disappointment. It's a hope I have lost. I have let myself down. I never felt this way since I lost every range for the past 3 yrs. I pinned my hope so high, it crashed the ground so hard that it scattered!

Yes. I have improved! It's good but I'm not contented. How could you ever felt contented that u didnt fulfil your target? It's a shame that I tried but I failed. It's a fear that I could do it but I missed it. My hope is as vulnerable as a glass heart. I'm so sorry to myself that I didnt keep up the promise I said to myself.

My parents are not blaming me, they encouraged me. That's the pressure. Their understanding made me guilty, my brother "not-so-bad" result made me envious. He's my role model, he's my brother, naturally I wanna be as gd as him. I'm trying. I knew I could that if I try much more harder, this little improvement will be tremendous!

Regardless, what I have obtained today, it's e time to give off my best shot - O LVL.

first thing first, have a gd rest! = ) *winK*

Everytime am down, *neelej* happened to be there supporting me mentally. am really grateful to have know him. I'm trying to be fair here, my "family" like sandra n gang to yet gang, I'm really thankful.

p.s. THat's what friends for? To go thru thick n thin, envious but no jealousy and covering each other's BACK! *geeZ*

p.p.s I'm truly a girl, gosh, I'm gd at crying n screaming, didnt u ppl realize?

[dazin thru daes w/o u. - I like *neelej* more than WKH I thot. But *neelej* is a friend I wanna have for a long time]

jamie was bouncin' @ 5:59 PM

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Fairy God"mother:"

It's almost 5days since I contacted *neelej*. Everytime I thought of giving him up, he would appeared from nowhere. Especially, when I need bits of love and care from someone I really like. He's there for me by default. I wonder if it's fate/telepathy but it's seem to be a fairy tale. If I am upset, he illustrated a fairy god mother who would show up and console me. There he's today when I felt sick. The pain was unbearable, I tried to tolerate and I was in pain for 19hrs since last night. I have too much gastric juice in my stomach. Yet Wei even suggested eating soap to neutralise my acidic stomach. *Geez*

*neelej* is somehow unhappy with the girl he likes. He said, "What's the use of treating her nice? Treating me like her servent. She's taking things for granted" I knew it's kind of sad to hear that from him. I wonder should he counts himself lucky or whatever. He always seem to know my needs but I'm disappointed that I hardly know his.

If you like someone, sometimes certain things are overlooked. In my case, I guessed I did overlook as I fell into unconscious happiness. He know about me could means he's treating me as a friend. Let's not be greedy at this critical moment (when O's is ard e corner), I'm contented he's still my friend. The least I am doing for him is to listen to him whenever he needs someone to.

[Thanks for being there when we needed each other, your encouragment is truly appreciated]

p.s. Why bio and social clashed? Stupid school man!

p.p.s Why did those JCs I want to visit falls on e same day? *very funny*

p.p.p.s Trying too hard not to "laugh", *ouch...* my stomach!

jamie was bouncin' @ 11:29 AM

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