We're Idiots

*neelej* told me he likes someone, He thought that their relationship won't worked out. She's well-off & he didn't tell her he likes her. *neelej* started liking her recently and his friends knew.

He just felt depressed because (as usual, I guessed) the girl he likes, he just couldnt be with them. That reminds of me, the tiniest girl in the world that *neelej* has forgotten her existance. It has been 4 days since he msged me. At last, he's onlined.

A simple "hi" & "how's life" are not what I need. I need some affection from U (yes, *neelej*) I simply replied, "I thought that you have forgotten me..." I knew he didnt otherwise he won't msg me out of the others. You may call me *greedy*, at this moment I felt I'm losing this pillar of strength. The one who's giving emotional support to me. I knew I can't sleep tonight, I'm suffocated by this doubt.

A doubt that why I didnt have the courage to tell him, why am I giving up? Is it better off being friends? I knew no future of us, I knew we could be friends - forever (If u call that). I'm utterly disappointed with myself. In the end, I'm afraid of losing him.

There's a list of things I don't know about him. He's not bothered to tell me too. One thing for sure, we are idiots of love. Maybe one day we should purchase the lOve idiots' bookguide!

I had a same thought as Sandra, to msg him & console him. It's a chance for me but... She meant well, I knew that. Greenie gone as the wind (to TAI? I don't know.) Ming Yang ( I related sitaution only - *neelej* identity is protected) suggested be determined, be strong to face reality! I'm not confused, I'm just a coward of love.

You maybe have came up a conclusion, a crazy girl in the world who felt so small about love. A selfish or a greedy girl who has a crush on *neelej*, is begging for more affection.

p.s. hasnt he realised I'm there for him - always (didn't I!?) At this moment of time (11:40pm), I knew *neelej* wouldn't read my msg. hoping he's fine.

[ To have the same person u like liking u is rare. To have the same person knowin ya feeling is hard to come by. Reality is cruel! ]